Don't ask me...
September 24, 2007 at 8:36 AM | Posted by kjtoqer
Probably one of the most annoying questions you can ask a KJ on your first visit to their venue is "What should I sing?" I get this question all the time from newcomers almost on a weekly basis. Even though it's my job to help people get up there to sing, if it's my first time meeting somebody I have absolutely no clue about what genres they like or what their vocal range is. Usually my conversations go like this...
Punter: "Hey Mr. karaoke man, what song is really going to get the crowd on their feet?"
Me: "What can you sing?"
Punter: "I don't know, just give me the name of a song that will really get them moving"
Me: "How about Bon Jovi, Living on a Prayer?"
Punter: "No I don't know that one"
Me: "Ok how about Bohemian Rhapsody"
Punter: "How does that go?"
Me: "It was in Waynes World"
Punter: "Waynes World, what's that?"
Me: "It starred Mike Meyers, the voice of Shrek"
Punter: "Oh I loved Shrek, what was the name of that song they sung?"
Me: "I'm a believer, Maroon 5, want me to cue it up for you?"
Punter: "Nah that won't get the crowd moving"
Me: "Ok well here's a song book, I have to get the next singer on deck, come back to me when you've decided"
At that point i'll usually run off, have a smoke, hide in the bathroom, and do whatever I can to avoid the person. Their questions of what to sing always end up turning into a circular argument that just goes round and round with no end in sight. Sort of like the guy who called 9-1-1 stoned out of his mind to say he thought he was dying, then asked for the score to the football game in the middle of his rant.
There are other annoying punter types too. KJs spend so much time and effort meticulously crafting their songbooks. 14Pt fonts, perfect spelling, bold text and someone always asks "Do you have the song xxxx?" I mean, come on people, you have a songbook in your hand. I know you're drunk, but that doesn't suddenly diminish your capability to read on a third grade level.
There's another type in this same category. The "I don't know the name of the song, or the song lyrics, but here I'm gonna hum you a few bars and expect you to know the song with all this other music blaring in the background." "Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm Hmmmmmm, what song is that Mr Karaoke man?"
Then there's the glory hound. Oh man, I really hate these guys with a passion. When it's their turn, they won't get off the stage to let the next person on. They'll stand up there screaming into the mic expressing how wonderful they are. Meanwhile the poor person on deck is just standing there giving me that "Help Me!" look. I mute the microphone, then announce on my microphone "Hey I just muted your mike, take a hike!"
Finally, the coup de gras. The bain of not just every KJ, but every DJ as well. The audio expert. The guy/gal that walks up to your booth and says "You're not loud enough in the bass/mid/high" Or they say "My mic wasn't loud enough" when in reality, they weren't using the microphone correctly or they weren't properly projecting their voice.
Despite the page of negativity I just spewed, I don't feel this way about every single person that walks into my shows. The most difficult patrons are not in the majority. My shows mostly consist of 10-15 regulars who know how things work, know what songs we have, and do whatever they can to get their songs in. I love working for these people almost as much as I love RC slope gliding. Considering how much I love RC slope gliding, that's saying a lot.
My regulars understand I'm not just taking care of them, but every single person in the bar. They do what they can to help the newcomers get acquainted with how karaoke works. They explain rotation, mic technique, how to find songs, and most importantly show them what a KJ is there for.
All in all karaoke is a pretty fun business to be in. You spend a lot of time interacting with different types of people, some good, some challenging. This is the only job I've had in my life where I actually look forward to going to work.
KARAOKE IS HARDCORE!!!
--toqer
Punter: "Hey Mr. karaoke man, what song is really going to get the crowd on their feet?"
Me: "What can you sing?"
Punter: "I don't know, just give me the name of a song that will really get them moving"
Me: "How about Bon Jovi, Living on a Prayer?"
Punter: "No I don't know that one"
Me: "Ok how about Bohemian Rhapsody"
Punter: "How does that go?"
Me: "It was in Waynes World"
Punter: "Waynes World, what's that?"
Me: "It starred Mike Meyers, the voice of Shrek"
Punter: "Oh I loved Shrek, what was the name of that song they sung?"
Me: "I'm a believer, Maroon 5, want me to cue it up for you?"
Punter: "Nah that won't get the crowd moving"
Me: "Ok well here's a song book, I have to get the next singer on deck, come back to me when you've decided"
At that point i'll usually run off, have a smoke, hide in the bathroom, and do whatever I can to avoid the person. Their questions of what to sing always end up turning into a circular argument that just goes round and round with no end in sight. Sort of like the guy who called 9-1-1 stoned out of his mind to say he thought he was dying, then asked for the score to the football game in the middle of his rant.
There are other annoying punter types too. KJs spend so much time and effort meticulously crafting their songbooks. 14Pt fonts, perfect spelling, bold text and someone always asks "Do you have the song xxxx?" I mean, come on people, you have a songbook in your hand. I know you're drunk, but that doesn't suddenly diminish your capability to read on a third grade level.
There's another type in this same category. The "I don't know the name of the song, or the song lyrics, but here I'm gonna hum you a few bars and expect you to know the song with all this other music blaring in the background." "Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm Hmmmmmm, what song is that Mr Karaoke man?"
Then there's the glory hound. Oh man, I really hate these guys with a passion. When it's their turn, they won't get off the stage to let the next person on. They'll stand up there screaming into the mic expressing how wonderful they are. Meanwhile the poor person on deck is just standing there giving me that "Help Me!" look. I mute the microphone, then announce on my microphone "Hey I just muted your mike, take a hike!"
Finally, the coup de gras. The bain of not just every KJ, but every DJ as well. The audio expert. The guy/gal that walks up to your booth and says "You're not loud enough in the bass/mid/high" Or they say "My mic wasn't loud enough" when in reality, they weren't using the microphone correctly or they weren't properly projecting their voice.
Despite the page of negativity I just spewed, I don't feel this way about every single person that walks into my shows. The most difficult patrons are not in the majority. My shows mostly consist of 10-15 regulars who know how things work, know what songs we have, and do whatever they can to get their songs in. I love working for these people almost as much as I love RC slope gliding. Considering how much I love RC slope gliding, that's saying a lot.
My regulars understand I'm not just taking care of them, but every single person in the bar. They do what they can to help the newcomers get acquainted with how karaoke works. They explain rotation, mic technique, how to find songs, and most importantly show them what a KJ is there for.
All in all karaoke is a pretty fun business to be in. You spend a lot of time interacting with different types of people, some good, some challenging. This is the only job I've had in my life where I actually look forward to going to work.
KARAOKE IS HARDCORE!!!
--toqer
